Couples Counselling
Couples who are in emotional turmoil or conflict will often take the view that they need to be proven right and the other needs to be made wrong. The reality is that if either one in a couple feels favoured by the therapist the other will resist and the possibility of resolution missed.
Any given situation is a symptom of something blocking the flow of love and warmth in the relationship, and it is co-created. This is not saying that destructive behaviour is justifiable, or that the pain of too much harm can be overlooked, but it is saying that patterns of behaviour in a relationship often come from one's own unresolved inner issues and therefore will be repeated in the next relationship if unattended to.
In couples work the relationship itself is the client. Having an external witness and mediator, someone who can identify destructive patterns and support new and healthier ways of relating, is the key to a good outcome. As much as attending to a particular or pressing issue may be relevant, it is the actions and behaviours of learning to relate, communicate and interact in ways that are in support of the well-being of the relationship that provide a stronger container and model for dealing with any future issues as well as celebrating the positives.
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